Life Reflections

The Need for Validation

Like many other individuals out there, I care way too much about what people think. I’ve been known to define my self worth based on how others view me and what value they see in me, if any, rather than how I view myself. Sometimes my mind is so polluted by the opinions of others that I honestly don’t know how I think or feel about myself or any given topic, because I’m stuck people pleasing, worrying, overanalyzing, and trying to control how I’m perceived.

The fact is…we can’t control how we’re perceived. Some people will love us, some people will hate us, and some people won’t care either way. I saw a quote this week that shook me to my core because it rang so true:


This quote is so wise. It forces me to think about the way I live my life. Why do I so desperately seek validation from others before I can see any of my own worth? Why do I ache to be loved by others before I can love myself? Why do I need to feel understood? Handled gently? The world, generally speaking, is not a loving, gentle place, but I’ve been blessed to cross paths with many kind-hearted, understanding people whom I love dearly and who love me back. Sometimes love comes in a brief connection with a stranger over a profound topic. Love builds us up.

But eventually, we crash and burn. A harsh word, a misinterpreted comment, an imagined slight, a moment of rudeness, an angry opinion, a mocking laugh…all these things can burn away the love that others give us, leaving us dark and empty.

So what are we to do? As a Christian, I first need to accept God’s unconditional love. But no matter what our beliefs, we need to learn to accept our own love. We need to be so filled with steadfast love that the ups and downs of the world won’t affect us. This is far easier said than done, and I’ve yet to achieve it, but I want to try. I hope you will try, too.

So before you go seeking validation for who you are and what you’re about, find it in yourself and in your faith. That is what will always remain, and that is all we truly need.

Peace be with you, dear friends. ❤

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